What the Hell Happened to White People? (Part Two)

I suppose it was inevitable. It only makes sense that sooner or later, the wrist-gnawing madness that defines all things race related in this country would produce idiocy of the level reached this week in, of all places, rural Texas.

In Brazoria, a small gulf coast town south of Houston, mayor Ken Corley has put forth a proposal to outlaw the use of the word "nigger" in public discourse. Under the proposed ordinance, people caught using said word would be subject to a $500 fine.

"I would like to, if possible, ban all racial slurs," Corley told FOXNews.com. "We chose this word because it's the most controversial issue throughout the United States today."

Really? I thought that war we're tied up in over in one of those funny little Moslem countries fit that bill. But that's for another day.

Maybe it's just because I'm a white guy, and a country boy, and racist and oppressive and lacking in cultural sensitivity and just all around no damned good, but I weary of this unending national obsession with racists, and particularly of white peoples' obsession with proving they're not. Endless are the examples of white people, particularly those in the public eye, wringing their hands, mincing their words, and in general making damned fools of themselves all in a frantic effort to make sure everyone knows that they are most definitely not racists. Not now, not then, not ever, no way no how no sir! Even the most straight shooting hardline right wingers on talk radio will employ transparent euphemisms like "urban" and "lower income" when they are obviously referring to blacks and the problems of the black population. So ingrained is the fear of being called that eeeevil "R" word (I believe I have now reached the legal limit for use of italics in a single paragraph).

It has been said that in the modern political landscape of America, black power is directly proportionate to white guilt (Thomas Sowell, if I'm not mistaken). Even though on its face this seems perfectly accurate, I do see one flaw in the theory: if it's true, then black people ought to be running the whole damned country with an iron fist by now. There's more than enough white guilt going around like a flu bug to cover it. Incessantly we are reminded by the witless talking boobs on the headtube, that the predominate white European culture that has defined America and made it thrive in ways and to levels unprecedented in all of human history, is evil and horrible and never should have existed because once upon a time slavery was an institution within it. One must never openly extol the virtues and accomplishments of white America, and indeed should be quietly ashamed of it. One may be "proud" of one's ethnic ancestry on purely superficial grounds, but never one's national heritage based on anything more substantial. For instance one may be boisterously proud of one's Irish ancestry because Ireland has the best ales, stouts and drunks in the world, or one's German ancestry because Germany has the best Lagers and second best drunks in the world, but never of simply being a white European/American because precious few marvels of modern technology, medicine, economics, mathematics, lattice theory, classical mechanics, engineering, chemistry and things with moving parts have ever been discovered or invented by anyone else (though Asians and Jews are fast changing that). One must never under any circumstances criticize any minority or member of any minority, save for in some cases Jews and Asians (interesting how that works, isn't it?), and anyone who does so publicly, regardless of his intentions or accuracy, will be met with all the self righteous bloviating bloviable by the guilt ridden, the oh-so-sensitive, the people who want to show how they really, really, really care, and the people who want to prove that they are definitely not racists, which is all of the above in a nutshell.

It is worth noting, by the way, that all of this insistence that whites and Euro-American society are evil and that white people should be ashamed of themselves is hoisted on the population not by blacks or any other minorities, but by other whites. Wrist-gnawing madness...

Of course, not all of this stupidity is rooted in guilt at all. PR is a big thing in this day and age of instant communications, especially in the worlds of business and politics. A business which employs in its advertising anything, that might in any way offend even slightly members of any racial or ethnic minority (as almost anything does), especially blacks, will suddenly find themselves on the receiving end of all the worst press imaginable. They will be roundly vilified by sanctimonious turds (mostly white) and called everything except a child of God. You may recall, for instance the case of Atlanta Braves pitcher John Rocker, who remarked to a sports reporter a few years ago that he hated going to New York City because he was annoyed by the abundance if people who can't speak English and depressed by the constant sight of teenage girls living on welfare with multiple children they are too young to properly care for. Rocker was excoriated in the press by everyone from Katie Couric to Bill O'Reilly. Words like redneck, bubba and hayseed received new life in the print and broadcast media. I never heard anyone question the accuracy of Rocker's observations however, or even offer a defense of the people about whom he made them. He just wasn't supposed to say them out loud, and to agree with him would be absolutely forbidden.

That's one of the things I like about unreconstructed southerners: they don't much keep up to date on what thoughts they are and are not allowed to think. I'm also reminded of a story of a grocery store owner in either the south or midwest who decided that in honor of Black History Month he was going to sell watermelons and fried chicken at a discount for the entire month of February. No bullshit, some dolt actually thought that was a good idea.

But back to the point: exactly whose purpose is served in all this? Certainly not the minorities that the guilty white folks are supposed to care oh-so-much about. Sacred cows like affirmative action in the workplace, social promotion and lowered testing standards in schools, and the endless promotion of the most degenerate portions of black America as being "authentic" black culture, have resulted in much more harm than good to black America. This seems to be lost on guilty whites. Frankly, I don't think they've ever thought that much about it, or care to. The idea seems to be to make themselves feel better about themselves than to actually help blacks and other minorities elevate themselves out of the shitty overall state they're in now. Oh, look at me, I'm so compassionate and sensitive and just look how I care about these poor ignorant primitives who obviously aren't smart or civilized enough to manage their own lives! The focus is always on themselves.

Brad Dourif, in his crowning role as Dr. Amos Cochran on the HBO series Deadwood but it best, I think, when he said "I see as much misery from them looking to justify themselves as from them that set out to do harm in the first place." Goddamn, I think he nailed it. Somehow, I don't think things like outlawing speech are going to produce the kinds of results that folks like Mayor Corley are looking for. More likely, they'll merely exacerbate the already tenuous and abysmal state of race relations in this country as they stand now. We've already seen, to a certain degree, the heightened resentment from whites who don't have teeth marks below their palms that has come as a result of rules and regulations, particularly in the workplace, aimed at punishing those who so much as notice the shortcomings of a member of some protected Group or other. Singling them out for more of it in their personal lives isn't likely to make it go away. BTW, there is a loophole in the Brazoria ordinance that would allow the use of "nigger," (or "nigga," which is both more common and less literate) as a "term of endearment." Translation: only white people will be subject to citation for using the word.

Maybe white people need to take a deep breath (after removing their wrists from their mouths), and relax. Let it go. Maybe there are worse things in the world than racists. Maybe guilty white do-gooders are among them.