How to win Back Congress and the White House: Free Advice for Democrats
After my last few columns you might find this hard to believe, but I'm not a liberal. I'm a pretty right-wing kind of guy. I like tax cuts, and guns. I believe the U.S. Constitution is the greatest governing document ever written, and wish more of our government agreed with me. I love Jesus, and His followers (though not necessarily everyone who claims to follow Him). I dig rugged individualism, and the nothing promised, roll-the-bones-and-give-it-your-best-shot world of free market economics. I can't stand socialism. I'm not a big fan of public education, or welfare, or Hollywood. Regulations and litigation and whiney victim types make me nauseus. I'm all about drastically shrinking the size and scope of our government, and putting severe restrictions on whatever is left (all of this is provided for in the aforementioned Constitution).
It once was, that folks of my political bent had a home and ally in the Republican party. They were the party of economic vision. The party that gave us men like Eisenhower, godfather of the interstate freeway system, which has allowed our economy to thrive in ways and at speeds the world has never before seen. The party that gave us Ronald "Ronaldus Magnus" Reagan, who at a time when the Grand High Know-It-Alls of academia, politics and the media were wringing their hands over the monumental fuckup that was the Carter presidency and predicting the imminent downfall of America, saw and reminded us that America's greatness and potential lies not in her politicians and elites, but in her everyday people. Her farmers, mechanics, bankers, truckers, accountants, investors, teachers, preachers, carpenters and alike. He knew that as long as America remained (in PT Barnum's words) "the land where every man is free to do his best", then there was nothing the American People couldn't do. He was right, and there still isn't. He said it was "morning in America". He was right, and it still is.
For the forty or so years they were in the congressional minority, these were all the principles of the Republican Party. In a measly 12 years in the majority, they have pissed away all of them.
It didn't take the 'pubs long to figure out why the 'crats were so fond of redistributing taxpayers' wealth (read "pissing away our money"). With control of both houses of Congress, as well as the White house for the past five years, our government has grown at a rate unprecedented in our history. Bush has yet to veto one single spending bill. This congress is spending our money like it's growing on trees, instead of being generated by hard working Americans. New farm subsidies, No Child Left Behind (which sounds almost as Orwellian as it does stupid), the Department of Homeland Security (ditto), the list goes on and on.
Democrats have always been famous for pandering. The 'pubs have taken it to a new level. Take for instance the Bush administration's remarkably lax position on enforcing our borders and immigration law. Despite his strong foreign policy stance, endless emphasis on national security and the "war on turr", he seems perfectly willing to allow the INS to remain toothless and neutered, and wants to grant amnesty to illegal aliens currently in living in our country unchecked. The idiocy of this is not lost on nearly as many Americans at W. seems to think.
The way I see it, a return to power by the Democrats could probably do little to make this situation worse, at least not domestically (though I fear what the leftover trash and cowards from the 1960s who now run the party would do to our foreign policy). If however, the 'crats were to capitaize on some of the open wounds left to fester by the 'pubs, even if they only did it to get votes, the net effect would be an actual betterment of the situation, even if only a mild one. As such, I have come up with this short list of positions and actions 'crats could take which would guarantee them victory in both the 2006 midterm elections, as well as the 2008 presidential run. Also included are the reasons that the 'crats will never actually take them.
1.
Borders, Borders, Borders!!
Most Americans are not too keen on the notion of just letting any asshole who can run, swim or jump enter our country unchecked. Contrary to allegations made by many Democrats and even some Republicans, this aversion is not based in racially motivated hate on the part of all us evil white folk, but in practical logic. We don't know who these people are, how many there are, how much they're costing us, etc. Furthermore, they don't seem to be assimilating well into American society, and they don't seem interested in doing so. Things like learning to speak English (or at least to butcher it as well as we butcher it), or obtaining as much education as they can, can only help them take greater advantage of all the opportunity this country has to offer. Instead, they insist we learn their language (at least the Spanish speaking ones) and their high school dropout rate is phenomenal. On top of that, many don't seem to give a damn about themselves or their families enough to make any attempt to elevate themselves out of abject squalor. They seem content to live like animals and raise their children in filthy, drug and crime infested barios. The fucked up part is this: people who have the kind of work ethic that so many of these people seem to have do not have to live like this. People who do not want to live like this, cannot afford to work for the ridiculously low wages these people are willing to accept. Americans, especially working class types, tend to get pissed when they get turned down for a job because they can't speak Spanish.
Done properly, immigration can be made to greatly enhance and service a nation. America is the great living proof of this. Obviously there are immigrants we want to have cross our boder, and others we don't (gangbangers, convicted felons, pedophiles, terrorists, people looking to become welfare sluts, etc.). But all of this is academic until and unless we are in control of who is crossing our border. If Democrats were to acknowledge this and take real measures to act on it, such as stricter enforcement of our immigration laws, building a wall or fence along our southern border and busting employers who hire illegals, they'd be back in the majority overnight. Red districts (especially in the south and west) would turn blue quicker than a freshly kicked scrotum. For the past 5 years, the 'crats have whined in vain about how they're just as tough on national security as the 'pubs. This would be their chance to prove it.
They'll never do it. The reasons are simple, and exactly the same as the reasons the 'pubs will never do it.
First, the people who pay them don't want them too. All those eeeevil corpoprations you hear about that contribute to the Republican party, contribute to the Democrat party as well. It's called hedging their bets. For an example of what happens to a major corporation who doesn't, one need look no furher than Microsoft.
These people want cheap labor, plain and simple. Claims are made about how hispanic immigrants work not only cheaper, but also better, faster and longer than Americans (the accuracy of this claim is spotty at best), and that they do jobs Americans refuse to (this is pure unadulterated bullshit), but in the end it's usually all about the bottom line. In my experience, someone who will hire someone who he can't communicate with to save a few bucks an hour usually isn't concerned about quality workmanship.
The labor unions, who have a virtual strangle hold on the 'crats, don't want the borders enforced either. Union membership is dropping, their cashflow tightening. A massive bloc of illiterate, uneducated workers presents a solution to this problem, if they can get around the legal hurdles.
Lastly, they wont do it because they see a potential for a new Dependent Victim Class to exploit (DVCs, I think I might copyright that term). The only real great success stories of the Democratic party in the last half century or so have been their exploits in dividing people into Groups, harping on some real or imagined grievance and then pitting them against the Group whom they claim is responsible for that grievance (usually white males, but occasionally they pit them against each other). They then proceed to incessantly remind each Group that they are completely fucked, that all their problems are someone else's fault (again, those evil white bastards), that they can never make it on their own and that they need the Big Democrat Mommy to take care of them and fix all those problems. The problems of course, never get fixed. The scam would whither and die as soon as they did. This type of fraud works best on the uneducated, the poor, and the illiterate, all of which are massively overrepresented in our illegal alien population. Just how long the scam could be kept up is uncertain, but it's been working on the black population for decades now.
2.
Fuck your exit strategy, lets win!!
The one great saving grace the 'pubs still have on their side is the 'crat's war strategy, or lack thereof. The Bush camp has displayed for us their willingness (if not competence) to confront and defeat Islamic terrorist nations and factions intent on destroying America, Europe, and everything else that's not under Sharia law. The Democrats have displayed for us their willingness to capitulate to and run scared from them. Europe is right now displaying for us the results of that approach. They ain't pretty.
The 'crats have completely fucked themselves where the war is concerned. As soon as the war wasn't finished in a nice, neat, 30 minute made for TV episode, they thought they saw their chance to regain power in the form of reliving their liberal glory days of the Vietnam war. Almost immediately, they began throwing their hands in the air, and conceding victory to the enemy. They said we couldn't win. The Taliban fighters in Afghanistan were too hardened a group of fighters (they're gone). The Iraqi people would universally hate us (they don't), and fear us (they should), and want Saddam back (I'm not hearing any outcry). They would immediately reject our corrupt western democracy (Iraq's first election, per capita, had greater turnout than our last one, and we didn't have people trying to kill us while we stood in line waiting to vote). They impugnned (sp?) the integrity of our soldiers (at least they resisted the urge to call them "babykillers" and spit on them at the airports this time), accusing them of torturing enemy detainees (panties on the head? I know guys in Baltimore who do that for fun). It was all straight out of the Vietnam era playbook, and I doubt most people think that antiwar activists make for good commanders-in-chief. Bush's defeat of Kerry in '04 should be proof enough of this.
What's more, the only alternative strategy they've offered their pattented Paper Tiger Strategy (I'm copyrighting that one too) from the 1990s. It's a simple strategy cosisting of four main parts: Cut; Run; Give up turf to the enemy; Show the whole world what a bunch of pussies we are and how easily we can be scared into submission. President Clinton employed this strategy numerous times during his two terms in office. The 1993 World Trade Center bombing by Al Quaida operatives (no response), the bombings of the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania by Al Quaida operatives (no response), battling Al Quaida terrorists in Somalia (withdrawl after the first few casualties), the bombing of the USS Cole in Yemen by Al Quaida operatives (no response). Democrats now say that by fighting back we are creating more terrorists. Perhaps, but they don't seem to be attacking as much. For all it's flaws, Bush's WOT has yeilded 5 years without another terrorist attack against Americans. The Democrats' PTS yielded a sunny Tuesday morning when four airplanes were hijacked, three were flown directly into three massive and crowded buildings in New York and Virginia, and one bound for the Capitol was taken down in Pennsylvania by heroic passengers who gave their lives to save others. When it was over, three thousand Americans were dead. Once again, it was all compliments of Al Quaida.
Democrats could win back power if they would simply realize that the best way to do it is not by seeing America lose, but by showing that they are willing and able to win. This would alleviate the single greatest remaining reservation holding them back.
They'll never do it. To do this they would have to shed their contempt for the American people. Unlike Reagan, they don't believe Americans can accomplish anything we set out to. They don't belive it's even possible for America to be a force for good. They hold a sense of self loathing that defines who they are. It's not fair that America is so rich, or that we succeed where other nations fail. They apologize incessantly to the world for our greatness, because they're just so damned scared that someone might not like us. This entire mentality is incompatible with victory.
..3
Give us a reason to vote for you
That one should be pretty much self explanatory. Explain to us what it is you stand for. What alternatives do you propose to the Republicans' MO? How will you improve our already blazing economy? How will you win the WOT? Why should we vote for you? "We're not George Bush" just isn't good enough.
They'll never do it. The reason is simplest of all: they have nothing. No ideas, no plans, no proposals. Lots of criticizm, but none of it constructive. They can give you a million and one reasons to vote against the Republicans (shit, I can do that) but not one to vote for them. As far as I can tell, there are none.
That's my advice. Centuries from now, when the Martians have long since eradicated the human race, one of them will find this on a hard drive discovered in an archeological dig and say,
"Damn, why didn't the Democrats listen to this guy? They'd have still been in power when we showed up."
It once was, that folks of my political bent had a home and ally in the Republican party. They were the party of economic vision. The party that gave us men like Eisenhower, godfather of the interstate freeway system, which has allowed our economy to thrive in ways and at speeds the world has never before seen. The party that gave us Ronald "Ronaldus Magnus" Reagan, who at a time when the Grand High Know-It-Alls of academia, politics and the media were wringing their hands over the monumental fuckup that was the Carter presidency and predicting the imminent downfall of America, saw and reminded us that America's greatness and potential lies not in her politicians and elites, but in her everyday people. Her farmers, mechanics, bankers, truckers, accountants, investors, teachers, preachers, carpenters and alike. He knew that as long as America remained (in PT Barnum's words) "the land where every man is free to do his best", then there was nothing the American People couldn't do. He was right, and there still isn't. He said it was "morning in America". He was right, and it still is.
For the forty or so years they were in the congressional minority, these were all the principles of the Republican Party. In a measly 12 years in the majority, they have pissed away all of them.
It didn't take the 'pubs long to figure out why the 'crats were so fond of redistributing taxpayers' wealth (read "pissing away our money"). With control of both houses of Congress, as well as the White house for the past five years, our government has grown at a rate unprecedented in our history. Bush has yet to veto one single spending bill. This congress is spending our money like it's growing on trees, instead of being generated by hard working Americans. New farm subsidies, No Child Left Behind (which sounds almost as Orwellian as it does stupid), the Department of Homeland Security (ditto), the list goes on and on.
Democrats have always been famous for pandering. The 'pubs have taken it to a new level. Take for instance the Bush administration's remarkably lax position on enforcing our borders and immigration law. Despite his strong foreign policy stance, endless emphasis on national security and the "war on turr", he seems perfectly willing to allow the INS to remain toothless and neutered, and wants to grant amnesty to illegal aliens currently in living in our country unchecked. The idiocy of this is not lost on nearly as many Americans at W. seems to think.
The way I see it, a return to power by the Democrats could probably do little to make this situation worse, at least not domestically (though I fear what the leftover trash and cowards from the 1960s who now run the party would do to our foreign policy). If however, the 'crats were to capitaize on some of the open wounds left to fester by the 'pubs, even if they only did it to get votes, the net effect would be an actual betterment of the situation, even if only a mild one. As such, I have come up with this short list of positions and actions 'crats could take which would guarantee them victory in both the 2006 midterm elections, as well as the 2008 presidential run. Also included are the reasons that the 'crats will never actually take them.
1.
Borders, Borders, Borders!!
Most Americans are not too keen on the notion of just letting any asshole who can run, swim or jump enter our country unchecked. Contrary to allegations made by many Democrats and even some Republicans, this aversion is not based in racially motivated hate on the part of all us evil white folk, but in practical logic. We don't know who these people are, how many there are, how much they're costing us, etc. Furthermore, they don't seem to be assimilating well into American society, and they don't seem interested in doing so. Things like learning to speak English (or at least to butcher it as well as we butcher it), or obtaining as much education as they can, can only help them take greater advantage of all the opportunity this country has to offer. Instead, they insist we learn their language (at least the Spanish speaking ones) and their high school dropout rate is phenomenal. On top of that, many don't seem to give a damn about themselves or their families enough to make any attempt to elevate themselves out of abject squalor. They seem content to live like animals and raise their children in filthy, drug and crime infested barios. The fucked up part is this: people who have the kind of work ethic that so many of these people seem to have do not have to live like this. People who do not want to live like this, cannot afford to work for the ridiculously low wages these people are willing to accept. Americans, especially working class types, tend to get pissed when they get turned down for a job because they can't speak Spanish.
Done properly, immigration can be made to greatly enhance and service a nation. America is the great living proof of this. Obviously there are immigrants we want to have cross our boder, and others we don't (gangbangers, convicted felons, pedophiles, terrorists, people looking to become welfare sluts, etc.). But all of this is academic until and unless we are in control of who is crossing our border. If Democrats were to acknowledge this and take real measures to act on it, such as stricter enforcement of our immigration laws, building a wall or fence along our southern border and busting employers who hire illegals, they'd be back in the majority overnight. Red districts (especially in the south and west) would turn blue quicker than a freshly kicked scrotum. For the past 5 years, the 'crats have whined in vain about how they're just as tough on national security as the 'pubs. This would be their chance to prove it.
They'll never do it. The reasons are simple, and exactly the same as the reasons the 'pubs will never do it.
First, the people who pay them don't want them too. All those eeeevil corpoprations you hear about that contribute to the Republican party, contribute to the Democrat party as well. It's called hedging their bets. For an example of what happens to a major corporation who doesn't, one need look no furher than Microsoft.
These people want cheap labor, plain and simple. Claims are made about how hispanic immigrants work not only cheaper, but also better, faster and longer than Americans (the accuracy of this claim is spotty at best), and that they do jobs Americans refuse to (this is pure unadulterated bullshit), but in the end it's usually all about the bottom line. In my experience, someone who will hire someone who he can't communicate with to save a few bucks an hour usually isn't concerned about quality workmanship.
The labor unions, who have a virtual strangle hold on the 'crats, don't want the borders enforced either. Union membership is dropping, their cashflow tightening. A massive bloc of illiterate, uneducated workers presents a solution to this problem, if they can get around the legal hurdles.
Lastly, they wont do it because they see a potential for a new Dependent Victim Class to exploit (DVCs, I think I might copyright that term). The only real great success stories of the Democratic party in the last half century or so have been their exploits in dividing people into Groups, harping on some real or imagined grievance and then pitting them against the Group whom they claim is responsible for that grievance (usually white males, but occasionally they pit them against each other). They then proceed to incessantly remind each Group that they are completely fucked, that all their problems are someone else's fault (again, those evil white bastards), that they can never make it on their own and that they need the Big Democrat Mommy to take care of them and fix all those problems. The problems of course, never get fixed. The scam would whither and die as soon as they did. This type of fraud works best on the uneducated, the poor, and the illiterate, all of which are massively overrepresented in our illegal alien population. Just how long the scam could be kept up is uncertain, but it's been working on the black population for decades now.
2.
Fuck your exit strategy, lets win!!
The one great saving grace the 'pubs still have on their side is the 'crat's war strategy, or lack thereof. The Bush camp has displayed for us their willingness (if not competence) to confront and defeat Islamic terrorist nations and factions intent on destroying America, Europe, and everything else that's not under Sharia law. The Democrats have displayed for us their willingness to capitulate to and run scared from them. Europe is right now displaying for us the results of that approach. They ain't pretty.
The 'crats have completely fucked themselves where the war is concerned. As soon as the war wasn't finished in a nice, neat, 30 minute made for TV episode, they thought they saw their chance to regain power in the form of reliving their liberal glory days of the Vietnam war. Almost immediately, they began throwing their hands in the air, and conceding victory to the enemy. They said we couldn't win. The Taliban fighters in Afghanistan were too hardened a group of fighters (they're gone). The Iraqi people would universally hate us (they don't), and fear us (they should), and want Saddam back (I'm not hearing any outcry). They would immediately reject our corrupt western democracy (Iraq's first election, per capita, had greater turnout than our last one, and we didn't have people trying to kill us while we stood in line waiting to vote). They impugnned (sp?) the integrity of our soldiers (at least they resisted the urge to call them "babykillers" and spit on them at the airports this time), accusing them of torturing enemy detainees (panties on the head? I know guys in Baltimore who do that for fun). It was all straight out of the Vietnam era playbook, and I doubt most people think that antiwar activists make for good commanders-in-chief. Bush's defeat of Kerry in '04 should be proof enough of this.
What's more, the only alternative strategy they've offered their pattented Paper Tiger Strategy (I'm copyrighting that one too) from the 1990s. It's a simple strategy cosisting of four main parts: Cut; Run; Give up turf to the enemy; Show the whole world what a bunch of pussies we are and how easily we can be scared into submission. President Clinton employed this strategy numerous times during his two terms in office. The 1993 World Trade Center bombing by Al Quaida operatives (no response), the bombings of the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania by Al Quaida operatives (no response), battling Al Quaida terrorists in Somalia (withdrawl after the first few casualties), the bombing of the USS Cole in Yemen by Al Quaida operatives (no response). Democrats now say that by fighting back we are creating more terrorists. Perhaps, but they don't seem to be attacking as much. For all it's flaws, Bush's WOT has yeilded 5 years without another terrorist attack against Americans. The Democrats' PTS yielded a sunny Tuesday morning when four airplanes were hijacked, three were flown directly into three massive and crowded buildings in New York and Virginia, and one bound for the Capitol was taken down in Pennsylvania by heroic passengers who gave their lives to save others. When it was over, three thousand Americans were dead. Once again, it was all compliments of Al Quaida.
Democrats could win back power if they would simply realize that the best way to do it is not by seeing America lose, but by showing that they are willing and able to win. This would alleviate the single greatest remaining reservation holding them back.
They'll never do it. To do this they would have to shed their contempt for the American people. Unlike Reagan, they don't believe Americans can accomplish anything we set out to. They don't belive it's even possible for America to be a force for good. They hold a sense of self loathing that defines who they are. It's not fair that America is so rich, or that we succeed where other nations fail. They apologize incessantly to the world for our greatness, because they're just so damned scared that someone might not like us. This entire mentality is incompatible with victory.
..3
Give us a reason to vote for you
That one should be pretty much self explanatory. Explain to us what it is you stand for. What alternatives do you propose to the Republicans' MO? How will you improve our already blazing economy? How will you win the WOT? Why should we vote for you? "We're not George Bush" just isn't good enough.
They'll never do it. The reason is simplest of all: they have nothing. No ideas, no plans, no proposals. Lots of criticizm, but none of it constructive. They can give you a million and one reasons to vote against the Republicans (shit, I can do that) but not one to vote for them. As far as I can tell, there are none.
That's my advice. Centuries from now, when the Martians have long since eradicated the human race, one of them will find this on a hard drive discovered in an archeological dig and say,
"Damn, why didn't the Democrats listen to this guy? They'd have still been in power when we showed up."
posted by Big Whiskey Sam at 19:32
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