Big Whiskey Sam's "THE LIFE OF BARRY!"

Normally, when I sit down to write one of these columns, I’m seeking perhaps to vent my frustration over the various insanities which dominate our societal, economic and political landscapes. Or, sometimes, I’m writing to share with my dear readers my unique and insightful observations on and solutions to said insanities (or, “to state the plainly obvious,” if you want to be a dick about it).

But not today. Today I am neither frustrated nor philosophical. Today, I am simply curious, and genuinely fascinated. Certain recent events have left me astounded and intrigued. Specifically, certain events involving our current president (at least indirectly), and the more, shall we say, ardent, of his swooning supporters.

By now, you’ve probably seen the video from Burlington NJ. For those of you who don’t get out much, here it is in a nutshell: a public school teacher leads a group of first-graders in reciting a poem/chant heralding the social edicts of “Barrack Hussein Obama,” followed by a song set to the melody of The Battle Hymn of the Republic in which they simply extol the overall greatness thereof. Needless to say, when this hit the airwaves, and especially when Glenn Beck got a hold of it, shit began hitting fans all across the fruited plains.

Conservatives and Republicans were apoplectic. This was hardly unexpected. Favorite right wing buzzwords like “indoctrination” and “brainwashing” have been given new life. The shock and outrage pronounced on talk radio and the internet were, to say the least, predictable; as was the fact that for the most part, they were pretty much real.

Equally predictable were the liberals populating TV and the blogosphere who, with all the snide condescension they could muster and righteous indignation they could feign, set out immediately to brand anyone who found fault with this kind of activity in a public school as a racist/wingnut/whatever. They then of course went into full spin mode, portraying this as harmless patriotism on the part of those adorable students, and basically backpedalled on everything they had said about patriotism and proper respect for the presidency during the eight years George W. Bush was in office.

None of this do I find particularly remarkable. What I find remarkable is the video itself, and more to the point, the strange mindset currently so prevalent in so many circles, of which this video is merely one example, and hardly the first.

It’s the pure, genuine Cult Of Personality that exists around President Obama.

I’m well aware that nothing new exists under the sun. Cults Of Personality have come and gone for as long as men have walked the Earth. But this is the first time I’ve ever gotten to observe one, a real one, as it happens. I say “a real one” because the term is often misused. Especially in our media and celebrity driven popular culture, “cults of personality” are attributed to virtually every dipshit who manages to find his fifteen minutes of fame. But a true CoP is much more difficult to come by, and even more so to achieve. Michael Jackson or Madonna may have millions of diehard fans (though I’m really not sure why), but the object of a true CoP has Followers. True Believers. Zealots. Minions.

In short: Worshippers.

What we are seeing from the Obama crowd (not all, but a surprising many) is nothing short of a religious movement. The term “cult” really is appropriate. We’ve all seen the video footage of idiots who think Obama will make the world right and life easy for them (also pay their mortgage, their gas tab, etc.). The acceptance speech in a sold out arena at the Democrat National Convention, set in front of marble pillars (perhaps imitations) designed to invoke images of the grand halls of Olympus. The people screaming, crying, even fainting at his campaign rallies. And of course, the throngs mindlessly chanting “YES WE CAN!”, without ever really bothering to ask “can what?”

Jesus would have been lucky to have these kind of crowds.

Over and over again, we hear people ascribing to Obama the power to “change” things, or to “bring change.” Nearly always, the focus is on him bringing change, personally, not on how he will aid or facilitate his followers efforts to bring about change, or just what that change might be. His followers seem to think he is somehow exempt from the basic pitfalls of human nature; such as temptation, powerlust, greed and arrogance (his detractors incessantly note, rightly, how he possesses that last one in abundance). Indeed, many of them seem to think he is in fact more than human: anyone remember Newsweek’s Evan Thomas, being interviewed by MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, claiming that "...in a way Obama’s standing above the country, above – above the world, he’s sort of God."

And of course, there is the virulent attack on anyone who dissents or even questions. As with any group of True Believers, heresy must never be permitted. Fortunately, the vast majority of our population is both far too lazy and far too comfortable to begin engaging in physical violence and bloodletting over this type of thing. This holds just as true for the Obamatons as it does for everyone else. Instead, the attacks consist mainly of verbal efforts to defame, intimidate, shout down, or otherwise stifle the speech of the dissenter. Name calling and character smears are most prevalent. Being as most Obamatons are Democrats, the patented “YOU’RE A RACIST!!” method of argument came into play quickly. And even though it appears to now have much less effectiveness right now as it may have had in years past, they show no signs of giving up on it any time soon. Snide remarks about dissenters’ intelligence, education, background, etc., are also going at full throttle. On most left leaning websites, you’ll find a lot more of these (peppered with various vulgarities, often as not) than debate tactics such as “I disagree because...” or “Here’s where you are wrong....”

Of course, like I said, none of this is new. Cults of Personality are a fact of life. One which has become more prevalent over the last hundred years, due mainly to advancements in communications technology. The end results of these cults have varied. On the one hand, you have CoPs like those surrounding Mahatma Ghandi and Martin Luther King Jr., the effects of which on the population at large were at worst benign if not mildly positive. Then again, the last century also saw these same CoPs surrounding the likes of Vladimir Lenin, Fidel Castro, Adolf Hitler, and Mao Zedong, the effects of which were disastrous.

And that’s where the video comes in.

One rule that all religious movements, as well as socio-political ones, have in common is this: get ‘em while they’re young. The Bible, the Koran, the Communist Manifesto, you name it: they all make mention of the importance of instilling their values in children as early as possible. Most often, this is done in two arenas: in the home, and in school. And when the values being taught in those two places clash, all Hell breaks loose.

There is a valid reason so many people are outraged over the contents of this video. Think about it: a government run school, in which teachers (or at least a teacher) are leading extremely young and impressionable students in overt songs of worship to the leader of said government. And make no mistake, these were songs of worship, especially the spoken word one. Replace “Barrack Hussein Obama” with “Jesus” and maybe dump the one or two lines about the economy, and you’ve got a classic example of a children’s hymn in any Protestant Sunday School.

This was a remarkably effective textbook tactic of all of the tyrants I listed above. The Hitler Youth, Mao’s Red Guard, and so on. In order for any totalitarian regime to work, the state must convince its subjects that their first loyalty, before family, friends, community or God, is to the state. To the government. To Dear Leader. Naturally, the best and easiest way to do this is to get it into their heads as young as possible. The state must insert itself in between children and their parents.

And there are a great many citizens of these united states who believe that the federal government, regardless of who happens to be in it, if given a chance, will seek to do just that. They are by no means wrong.

Also, never forget that in the mind of the True Believer, the ends always justify any means. Ethics are irrelevant. Hell, even results are often irrelevant. All that matters is that they do what the Leader wants, or what they think he wants, them to do. This is why you see people in cults of all kinds destroy families, ruin lives, and even commit egregious violence, and have zero remorse. In their minds, they did right. There is a word for people who reach this point. The word is “evil.” There is a reason people, and especially parents, react strongly at the very possibility that such a person might be in contact with their children.

Now, do I think Barrack Obama is sitting in the Oval Office, rubbing his hands and snickering to himself, giddy with thoughts of his plans for total domination and supreme power over all? I doubt it. But then again, did Mao? Did Hitler? All the monsters I listed came to power in circumstances not all that different from those surrounding Obama: nations in financial crisis, ruled by corrupt and/or incompetent and brutal governments. The Batista regime and the Russian Tsars weren’t a whole lot less monstrous then Castro and Lenin were after them. All were hailed as saviors of their countries. I’m sure none of them went into office with ideas of becoming iron-fisted dictators, acquiring unlimited power and brutally crushing all who oppose. Didn’t stop all of that from happening, though.

So the point that really peaks my curiosity is:

Just what does President Obama think of all this? Is he sitting back on Air Force One, watching this video and others like it and stroking his ego the whole time? Maybe. I hope not.

Or perhaps he’s living The Life of Brian right now. Fans of England’s comedic supertroup Monty Python will recall their biblical satire of that name, in which the title character is mistaken for the new messiah by a mob of fools, who pursue him tirelessly and mistake everything he says or does for a miracle or message from God. If Barry is feeling a bit like that right now, i couldn’t blame him.

So when the president finally calls me, and says “Big Whiskey, what do I do? These people are mad! What do I say to them?” I will advise him to go on TV, which he was probably would have done within the next twenty minutes anyway, and say something to the effect of:

“My beloved supporters, I am deeply appreciative of all of the songs, poems and works of art so many of you have made in tribute to me. But enough is enough. Really, y’all need to get a life. I really wasn’t born in a manger. Stick to teaching the tykes to read and write. You need improvement in those areas anyway. And for the love of God (the real One, not me), if you feel you must write a poem for me, try not to set it to a meter that sounds reminiscent of goose-stepping Nazis!”

I’m sure that call will be coming any day now.




Here’s the now famous video:









Hmm, hmm, hmm
Barack Hussein Obama
He said we must all lend a hand
To make this Country strong again
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Barack Hussein Obama
He said we must be fair today
Equal work means equal pay
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Barack Hussein Obama
He said we all must take a stand
To make sure everyone gets a chance
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Barack Hussein Obama
He said red, yellow, black, or white,
All are equal in his sight
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Barack Hussein Obama
Yes, hmm, hmm, hmm
Barack Hussein Obama

Another one, from back during the campaign. Note the swooning teacher lady. Definitely a True Believer.









My personal favorite. I’ll let this one speak for itself.









And just a little proof that there really is nothing new under the sun.